Saturday, March 19, 2011

Query Letter

If anyone is interested, I have written an updated version of my query letter (from Query Revision 68: Redux on PhoenixSullivan).  As always, I welcome criticism.

Dear Agent,

Sixteen-year-old Malia fulfills the normal duties of a princess: observing ladylike manners, obeying her father’s wishes, and secretly plotting to avenge her mother’s murder.  Truth be told, she doesn’t focus much on the first two.  Instead, she practices archery and teaches herself ancient languages, all in the hopes of one day returning the favor the tyrant Armoth did to her mother.

That day, however, arrives sooner than she expects after Armoth destroys her city.

With her life in ashes, Malia seeks out seventeen-year-old Vardin to aid in her vengeful quest.  After all, Armoth murdered his parents too.  Their instant bond blossoms into mutual love as they brave the world’s toughest security system, including Armoth’s magical sandstorms and whirlwinds.  Malia’s many hours spent in the palace library come in handy as she plots their route and deciphers ancient symbols at the edge of a canyon.  These symbols tell them only a company of four can defeat Armoth.  Neither Malia’s meticulous plans nor Vardin’s passionate anger will be enough. 

In the next city, they encounter two sights they never expected: an enormous monster and Armoth himself.  The tyrant makes them an offer.  If Malia and Vardin abandon their quest for vengeance, Armoth will leave the city untouched.  If not, they’ll be responsible for the deaths of hundreds of innocent people.  Well, provided the monster doesn’t destroy the city first. 

IN PURSUIT OF VENGEANCE is a YA fantasy novel, complete at 85,000 words.

Thank you for your time and consideration.


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